I agree that it's gentlemanly to offer, and I think it's ladylike to refuse, if you see what I mean. :-) Nothing at all wrong with offering - if I know, for instance, that I have more money than someone I'm planning to do something with, I will do what I can to shoulder more of the costs. It's a kindness.*
* I should add that others have done the same for me.
To be fair, I will let a man buy if he insists, but I will always insist, then, on getting the tip, the dessert, the drinks later, or whatever (I won't quarrel about it, as I've seen other people do, actually getting into an argument about who is going to pay, with each being rude while trying to out-polite the other :-) ). The old-school thinking that a man should pay for a woman's company is distasteful, and it makes a lot of men think less of the women who do it (reasonably, I think, these days when women work outside the home).
You might as well; the money, in the big picture, is all coming out of the same pot. In your case, I would treat my spouse to birthday dinner if we went out, otherwise, 50/50 split.
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* I should add that others have done the same for me.
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