(no subject)

[alynwa]

Pepper, the beautiful black cat who is my profile picture, was euthanized this evening.  I didn't want to do it, but it was the right thing to do. 

The second week of January, I noticed that she was no longer eating the wet food I mixed her medication into and seemed to be losing weight.  I already had an appointment scheduled for her to see her vet for a followup to check her blood pressure.  When we got there that day, I explained to the vet what I had noticed and she ran a series of tests: Bloodwork, urinalysis, etc.  Everything came back normal, so we thought maybe she had decided she no longer liked it.  I changed flavors.

Last October, Pepper weighed 10 pounds 6 ounces.  On January 18th, her weight was 8 pounds 12 ounces.  On January 29th, I took her back to the vet, telling them that according to the test results, I should have a healthy, happy kitty and I just don't.  That day, she weighed 7 pounds 12 ounces.  The vet x-rayed her.  The poor thing was full of matastisized turmors.  She gave me a transdermal med to stimulate her appetite.  It didn't work.

I called this morning to make an afternoon appointment because she still wasn't eating and looked smaller.  I had pretty much made up my mind that it was her time and found myself wishing I knew I was doing the right thing.

When I'm taking the cats to the vet, I take their carriers out and open them in the living room.  Pepper knew that if she saw her carrier, she was going to the doctor and I would have to chase her all over the house to get her in it.  When I put it down this time, she walked right into it and laid down.  I lost it.  I feel like it was her way of telling me she was ready.  When we got there, I asked the vet to weigh her again; she had lost another three ounces.

I took Itty Bitty with us so she could say goodbye, which she did by sitting so close to her sister, she was tickling Pepper's ear.  We were the last sight Pepper had and she looked so peaceful.

Tonight, Itty Bitty and Pinot Grigio (the wine, not another cat) are my best friends.

Comments

[fiorenza-a.livejournal.com]

Oh, I was so sorry to read this.

It sounds as if you didn't have much choice, but I don't suppose it's any easier for that. I am thinking of you.

What a sad day.

[elmey.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry alynwa, they're such a huge part of our lives, and losing them is devastating. I lost one of my cats in July after 16 good years, he looked much like Pepper.

Pepper knew she was loved, you did right by her.

[sparky955.livejournal.com]

I’m so very sorry for your loss.

[vysila.livejournal.com]

I'm so sad for your loss. It was the kindest - and hardest - thing you did. She left this world knowing she was loved.

[spikesgirl58.livejournal.com]

*hugs* to you my friend. May she fly swiftly to her new home.

[lee-the-t.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry. It hurts so much even when you know rationally you're doing the right thing and that you've given them a good happy life. You always feel like you should have done more somehow - even when that is impossible.

[glennagirl.livejournal.com]

Oh my, it is impossible to say anything as comforting as you need. Losing a pet companion is one of life's saddest moments. I hope you are comforted by Itty Bitty, and she by your continued presence.